Lockdown is making me forget a few basics, like if you have a tin of paint in the garage for 5 years it doesn't come out the same colour. I knew that; but you always hope. Mrs Martin now has a blotchy conservatory, she is not ALL that keen on it.
Had some news from Alex Hall, in his words:
Not much happening in sunny Wheato, the garden is looking good, my chipping seems to be improving and I haven’t shot Lynn yet. I had a beer with The Boss earlier he is like the rest of us trying to keep busy painting, gardening and fixing things. He stood out on the drive by my car while I stood inside the porch.
My first contributor this week is Alex Stickland, wife of Colin, who has sent me a sort of lockdown Dictionary:
Quarantinis: Experimental cocktails mixed from whatever random ingredients you have left in the house. The boozy equivalent of a store cupboard supper. Southern Comfort and Ribena quarantini with a glacé cherry garnish, anyone? These are sipped at “locktail hour”, ie. wine o’clock during lockdown, which seems to be creeping earlier with each passing week.
Le Creuset wrist: (Ed: No it's not that) It’s the new “avocado hand” - an aching arm after taking one’s best saucepan outside to bang during the weekly ‘Clap For Carers.’ It might be heavy but you’re keen to impress the neighbours with your high-quality kitchenware.
Furlough Merlot: Wine consumed in an attempt to relieve the frustration of not working. Also known as “bored-eaux” or “cabernet tedium”.
The elephant in the Zoom: The glaring issue during a videoconferencing call that nobody feels able to mention. E.g. one participant has dramatically put on weight, suddenly sprouted terrible facial hair or has a worryingly messy house visible in the background.
Covidiot or Wuhan-ker: One who ignores public health advice or behaves with reckless disregard for the safety of others can be said to display “covidiocy” or be “covidiotic”. Also called a “lockclown” or even a “Wuhan-ker”.
Covid-10: The 10lbs in weight that we’re all gaining from comfort-eating and comfort-drinking. Also known as “fattening the curve.
My usual correspondents have also been active. The first is from JC. The next is from Pete B-I.
Le Creuset wrist: (Ed: No it's not that) It’s the new “avocado hand” - an aching arm after taking one’s best saucepan outside to bang during the weekly ‘Clap For Carers.’ It might be heavy but you’re keen to impress the neighbours with your high-quality kitchenware.
Furlough Merlot: Wine consumed in an attempt to relieve the frustration of not working. Also known as “bored-eaux” or “cabernet tedium”.
The elephant in the Zoom: The glaring issue during a videoconferencing call that nobody feels able to mention. E.g. one participant has dramatically put on weight, suddenly sprouted terrible facial hair or has a worryingly messy house visible in the background.
Covidiot or Wuhan-ker: One who ignores public health advice or behaves with reckless disregard for the safety of others can be said to display “covidiocy” or be “covidiotic”. Also called a “lockclown” or even a “Wuhan-ker”.
Covid-10: The 10lbs in weight that we’re all gaining from comfort-eating and comfort-drinking. Also known as “fattening the curve.
My usual correspondents have also been active. The first is from JC. The next is from Pete B-I.
