Chaos Reigns

Recent swindles have been afflicted by water from on high; this time it was water from below which caused the trouble. For anyone who wasn't there, a burst water main in Piggotshill Lane just before the entrance to the club meant no vehicular access was possible. Cue utter chaos as dozens of golfers and their cars ended up in near gridlock. Eventually 23 swindlers managed to find somewhere to leave their cars and proceeded on foot to the course.

The swindle finally teed off for the team competition with 22 golfers. The 23rd - it's a fair cop, it was me - hadn't read the notice about carrying only, and turned up with a full bag and a trolley, only to be dismissed by the ranger on the first tee. And that was my day done!

The Boss did a magnifcent job sending out rearranged threeballs to contest the team competition and there were some superb scores - none better than Jeff Titman whose 42 points contributed strongly to the winning combo. Michael Vallance bagged a fiver for his 40 point stapleford score, and Peter Evans £4 for nearest the pin in 2 on the ninth.

Team D (Jeff, Dom and The Somelier) took the spoils for £10 each. Team scores were as follows:- 

    Team D - 94 points
    Team G - 91 points
    Team A - 90 points
    Team B - 84 points
    Team C - 83 points
    Team F - 80 points
    Team E - 79 points

With doubtless another storm whatchamacallit on the way, goodness only knows when the course will dry out, but let's be positive. Onward to the next swindle!

Swindle Squelch

Believe it or not, last Wednesday 11 hardy swindlers set off to play in monsoon-like conditions. Mad? That's one word for it. A few of the lunatics even completed 18 holes. I have it on good authority that they ended the day a little... damp. 

Spurred on by the nothing more than the prospect of a few quid in prize money and undeterred by the conditions, the merry band set out on a slimmed-down 9-hole doesn't-count-against-averages shootout. Coming out on top with a creditable 19 points for £7 was Jeff Titman. Bionic Man Kelvin shot 18 for 2nd place and £3. 

For most, that was that. Time to head to the 19th for a reviver. Of the masochists that carried on, well done to Peter Evans who managed to birdie the 12th.

On we go to next week and a team competition. See the spreadsheet for details. Or just watch "Traitors" - it's less complicated. At the moment the weather forecast for Wednesday looks good. Here's hoping!

Welcome back to the Wednesday Swindle!

A very warm welcome back for news of the first Swindle of 2026. After the intervention of the big feeze, Wednesday January 14th was the first opportunity for many to dust off the clubs and set forth for a new year of golf.

After the equivalent fixture last year I distinctly remember Mike Crofts saying he'd never again be daft enough to win first time out and live with a permanent 2-shot cut for the other 51 weeks of the year. Not sure what happened to that resolution! 36 points, a £21 prize and Mike will be playing off a maximum of 18 for the rest of the year. Good man!

Usual suspects Ali and Eugene pitched in for second place with 34 points, alongside Gary Fowler. £4 and temporary 1-shot cuts to all 3 of them. At the other end of the roster 3 players (no names!) each got 2 shots back. That means the first swindle of 2026 yielded a whopping 11 shots changing hands (up and down). Is that a record?

The front 9 fiver was trousered by David Cheek with 17, whilst on the back 9 Jimbo scored a very nice 19 points. Aided, it has to be said, by a chip-in on the 14th yielding a frankly outrageous 2-for-5. Jimbo we salute you!

Sad News

You will all have heard by now of the passing of our dear friend Alex Hall. Much has been said and more tributes will follow, so suffice to say for now that we will all miss one of life's true gentlemen and a fine golfer to boot. Details of the funeral will follow and I'm sure there will be a fulsome turn-out to give Alex a send-off to remember.

 Swindle Result 31st Dec

11 players were given passes for a cold but sunny outing. A 3 way tie for first place with a meagre 31 points for £4 was won by Chris Manners, David Reynolds and Graham Waller. Their 1 and 2 shot cuts respectively lasted all of 24 hours before the new 2026 Swindle Handicaps were declared.

The front and back 9's were won on 16 points by Kim and Andy Wyatt (£3) making a £1 profit on the day.

It proved to be a birdie less day.

Happy New Year to one and all and our thoughts remain with Alex. 

 Swindle Result 24th Dec

The Magnificent 7 ventured out in freezing conditions to play a Swindle Scramble. Two teams of 3 with organiser Tony Coomber helping each team of 3 with a 9 hole contribution. Well done to the Gary Fowler, Graham Waller and Rory finishing with 3 over par winning £4 each. Commiserations to PBI, Kim and Alan Wright who ended up 4 over par and came second or last !!

One final outing on the 31st Dec before handicap adjustments for the start of 2026.  

 Swindle Result 17th Dec

A quiet day on the links although the weather was once again behaving itself. Claggy conditions didn't help as the ball plopped rather than ran on the fairways turning par 4's into par 5's more often than not. Not a problem for Jeff Titman with back to back wins on 39pts and £19. Although cut to 15 not now available until 2026! 

Alan Wright sporting his heated vest played steadily for his 37pts and £9 gaining his 1st leader board prize this year. Nice work.

Mike Crofts picked up £5 on the back 9 (20pts) and Michael Vallance moved into profit with a back 9 win  on 18pts : £5.

Dom Johnson was presented with his most improved player award for 2025 which recognizes sustained improvement over the 2023-25 period. 

Its decision time for handicap adjustments for the start of 2026 which await everybody's WHI on the 1st Jan. However the shot adjustment for your Swindle 'Winnings per Game played Ratio' during the period 2023-25 are as follows:

2 Shot cut

AR, KS, BB, DRobson, DClarke. 

1 Shot cut

IP, PaulM, DReynolds, BJ, DS, TC, DCoutts.

1 Shot back

PeterM, TW, SC, DCheek, CB, KM, JM, DJ, MD, AW, CS, JB. 

2 Shots back

MP, TH, PE

Anybody not on this list can safely assume you are in the 0 shots adjustment category.

Merry Xmas to all our Readers!

 

State of the Nation December 10th 2025

Plenty to report this week, so let's start with the annual dinner. The leaderboards shown on the left were the basis for the final standings and are now frozen. If you play again between Monday December 3rd and the end of the calendar year and want to see your final averages, just click through and you'll see them.

This year's champions were:-

    Red League - Ali Robertson
    Blue League - Iain Pritchard
    Hall Trophy - Ali Robertson

Well done to them both. The full stat pack will be posted on the website at the end of the year for anyone interested. 

The Hall trophy was presented to Ali by Don Dobbs:-

Alex would have loved to have been with us but was not quite well enough to make it. So if the mountain won't come to Mohammed... 

Merry Christmas Alex, we missed you!

Results for December 10th

A great round of 40 points by Jeff Titman saw hime take home the £19 prize and a 3-shot cut, which he won't have to live with for long. Beware the handicapping committee though Jeff!

David Coutts, Tony Coomber and perennial podium man Ali all shot 36 points for a share of the spoils to the tune of £4 each. Don't spend it all at once boys! Chris Manners won the fiver for the front 9 with 19 points and Crofty the back nine with 20 points.

Christmas Eve

Alas the family have decreed that golf is not on the agenda on Christmas Eve in the Merelie household, which leaves 11 stalwarts on the list. The Boss has devised a texas scramble format for those playing - see the spreadsheet for details.

 Swindle Results 3rd Dec

A glorious sunny day failed to bring the players out as only 22 started and 19 completed their rounds. Scoring once again proved difficult with 40% falling in the shots back range (26 stableford points and under).

David Coutts again showed his scoring consistency with 37 points and a well deserved win for £20. A welcome return to form by Mike Crofts who came 2nd with 34 points picking up £10.   

The front 9 was won by Stuart Insall (18pts - £5) pipping an occasional visitor from Norfolk by 1 point. JC wasn't too upset as he had a cheap round to ease the pain! Dom Johnson won the back 9 on count back with 17pts - £5.

A pat on the back to Tom Walters who scored the only birdie on the day (3rd Hole).

Look forward to the Xmas Dinner next Monday and prize giving for 2025.